Grief

I had, all of a sudden, lost
a part of me
so dear, so intimate

I had, all of a sudden, felt
sheer grief
the unattainability of lost

I had, all of a sudden, roused
Oh! I lost this too
this process, I lost me!

I had, all of a sudden, revisited
stories, tales, laments
the pain of broken hearts

I had, all of a sudden, grief
a companion; somewhere disappeared
meanwhile revisiting memories

I had, all of a sudden, discovered
the pain of losing the pain
And like a mother with a dead child
I wander around, lost
lamenting, crying, grieving for grief!

Don’t Give Up

The times when you so want to curl up and cry, to hide somewhere, run away from everyone….

The times when you feel like giving up, like everything is worthless, like nothing is working in the way desired…

The times when the world comes crashing, when the skies fall, when the earth bursts open, when even the closest ones leave your side…

The times when you lose the purpose of living, when nothing makes a sense, when even the next breath is a burden…

Don’t give up! Look up into your eyes, re-ignite that fire, visualize your purpose. There’s an answer to everything…

Being a Girl

I talked of chains
How I felt my wings bound
How it was suffocating
Smothered, numb
They asked, ” Where are the chains
You talk about;
Who binds you, you seem free
The cage is just metamorphic”
I think the words over
Were they right?
Why was it that I felt caged?
What denied my wings flight?
No, the chains couldn’t be seen
They were just words, lingering
A collection of random events
The burden of ‘Izat’
Stereotypes bound me
The rules- how, what, right, wrong
The piercing eyes- disapproving, shaming
The label of being a girl!

Desires

I was listening to someone
talking change
How your dreams, your why matters
How it all falls in place

I look around
people with money on mind
how they desire
banknotes!

I wonder, WHY?
was this motivation?
A session for searching self?
I find myself crying!

My heart is somewhere else
Somewhere weaving verses
listening to dreams
A literary paradise

I peek at this sea of people
craving security, finances
I feel lost
I belong elsewhere

I crave that music, verses
delicate, woven intricately
piercing one through and through
An aura of peace.

I want to cry my heart out
the devastation, heartbreak
I sit silent, pretending
lowered head, dilated eyes

A mere physical presence
My soul, peace somewhere else
The inability to freeze time
insanity of desiring forever!

 

Fear of Change

fearofchange

When we are happy we often think of how long this would last. How far this will go. Would the dynamics of a relation change with time or it remains eternal.

These thoughts are often depressing. Making us apprehensive of future. Of things yet to come. Some may even turn possessive. Trying to resist the changes that might never happen at all. Are we all so afraid of losing a relation?

Is is actually a relation, a person we are afraid to lose? Or is it the change that would accompany the change? The loss of a comfort zone. The need of new interactions. The need to create a new space. A new comfort zone.

More often than not, we are afraid of the change. The effort we would have to put in once something changes. But why?

Are we apprehensive about our abilities too? Thinking we might not be able to do a thing again? Or do something in a better way? Or accomplish a new thing altogether?

Human potential is limitless. The limits we see are what we want to see, what we want to believe. Even if you tell yourself you have the capability to fly, it would. Never giving a damn about the presence or absence of wings.

 

 

 

 

 

Within

Seeking help and crying foul
I kept blaming for my turmoil
And yet, when I could see
I didn’t bother to correct me

I cried pain, sorrow, grief
it all just doesn’t fit in
But I didn’t bother to rectify
thing I found when I looked inside

I cried hopeless, seeking
as if they had all, I none
and yet, when I looked within
didn’t find a thing lacking

I victimised myself for sympathy, maybe
some care, attention
and yet, at the end of the day
besides me was alone