When we hear about someone committing a suicide we judge them. That they are weak and incapable to manage and adopt as one should. That they chickened out of something simply because they did not have the guts to go through it.
But then who knows what was going on in their mind? We never get to know the calamity that might have befallen them. We criticise them simply because they accept and show that they are weak. That they are only humans.
No one can just go on and on. Everyone has a breakpoint somewhere. And by idealising what behaviour one should choose we are further promoting suicides. Because when someone knows they have fallen weak or failed at something, they know they won’t be accepted anymore. It is not their weakness that kills them. It is our stereotyping that does.
She was jolly that day. A day out with her best friend. What else can cheer up a person more than a friend. They didn’t do anything extraordinary. Only a walk down the road and a dessert in a famous shop. As she was relishing her dessert, she suddenly noticed he was gone. Nowhere within site or in the shop. A quick glance around confirmed that. She frantically got up to check the streets for him. No clue. He was gone!
A cry escaped her lips. Scanning her surroundings she realized she was home. It was still dark. Clock on the wall read 2. A nightmare! Relieved, she went back to sleep.
The next day she met her friend. Together they laughed on the weird dream. At that moment they could not conceive the thoughts of separation. They had no reason after all. There was no possibility.
As much as they liked each other’s company, people envied them equally. As per the traditions of our society, their friendship was condemned on all levels. The most common thing? “A guy and a girl can never be just friends!” To counter them, they only had truth. Their minds had never wandered to the romantic sides. They did not consider gender when together. They were just two souls searching and seeking together.
But our society does not take rest easily, or does it? His friends started to taunt him. And ask about their relation too.
“Are you flirting with her?”
“Is she your girlfriend?”
“Are you two in a relationship?”
“What is going on between you two? You two are always together!”
After some time the guy snapped contacts with her. No explanations, no goodbyes. This sudden change of behaviour drove her crazy. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t contact him and didn’t know why.
She had hopes he would return, If only for a final goodbye, but he would. She kept waiting, pinging him. Neither did he reply nor did he offer any explanation.
She kept wondering whether he was not affected at all. Did the sudden parting of ways not affect him? Not the least? Depressed, she kept wondering what had happened. Was he so fed up with societal pressure that he gave up a cherished friendship? Or did the taunts of society reflect his true feelings? Was he somehow inclined to his friend? To her? Did he love her as they all said? Or did he quit so she may not have to hear anything?
In the dark cold nights she kept wondering. Why did he quit? She awaited an answer. None arrived. And the void remained!
His dreams lay elsewhere
elsewhere his work
His heart desired one way…
In between he lay torn
undecisive and unheard!
“Too young to decide for self”
Did he not know the direction to take?
“What kind of career is that?”
Look beyond medicine!
Maybe he did not have that cheek to say
Or maybe his pleas rejected
“Look at that guy, his path
Why don’t you try the same?”
“What will people say?
Call you by weird names?”
Ah! the pressure, the immense pressure
not knowing what to do
Giving up dreams meant death
but pursuing them was no easier
And the constant nagging friends
“What would you do at college?”
And in moments all decided
He chose his parents’ dreams
And now, he lived far far away where
sadness of his eyes was concealed by smoke of weed!