It was a beautiful day. An amazing company. Shared laughter. While one conversation was leading to another, he asked: “What plans do you have for yourself?” “None”
Plans. Unknowingly he had now touched the raw nerve he talked about a few days earlier. Plans. What she wanted to do with her life. Which direction she wanted to choose. What paths did she desire to walk?
Very few people had bothered about this. Her desire. What she wanted to do with her life. And yet, amongst those few people, her family never featured. It was twice that someone wanted to help her. That the destination had been fixed, so let’s find the path together. Let’s walk together.
There couldn’t have been any sound better than that sentence. “I will show you how to.” And it still remained a mystery to her. Was it her naivety or was the person too convincing? Or was she too desperate to arrive that she drank from all cups offered? Never differentiating, never trying to probe whether it is water or poison.
A part of her did feel poisoned. Cheated. Like being promised of a dessert and getting a toffee. The path promised did exist but it lead elsewhere. Her desire, her dream, her destination was too far from the path she was trodding upon. A part of her always grieved. Maybe she should have probed more. What fun was it walking with people who wouldn’t even understand? Who mocked her? Her passion? What did they know? Had they themselves ever yielded anything from their labor of love? Just how could they?
And here she was, with another hand to take her there. The path seemed better. Familiar. Things she should have been doing for long now, but wasn’t. But a part of her was still hurt. Still afraid. Still wondering where this rendezvous would take her to.
Many times our dreams, our goals are just one step away from us. We just have to extend our hand and grab it. But more often than not, we are afraid of thatfinal step. That last brick in the wall.
Though we say we desire so and so but we never really yearn for it. Because if we did, we would grab it even if it were miles afar.
It is this last step that discloses whether that dream, that goal is really sought. Whether we really crave for it, yearn it.
All excuses, delays, time, blah blah come forth when we do it half hearted, as a compulsion. Else nothing would or could stop us.
On another level, maybe we are afraid to complete the journey. Once this dream, this goal is achieved, what would life be like. There won’t be this goal to work for. Would life lose its meaning? Would there be nothing else to look forward to? Would it be the end of everything? Would it invoke the feelings of lost?
The eyes of world saw different. Everything for them a blunder. It was as if they were at war with everyone; everyone who tried to do something unconventional. Because they see such people as a threat. That maybe they would redefine what society has already described. Maybe the current ways of life would be challenged by something more thoughtful, more appropriate.
These are the very same people, who when asked about religion say, ” In matters of religion brains are not to be used”. But if this statement were true, then why at all did Almighty give us brains? Or do they consider this a joke from Him, that you might possess brains but shall not use it.
These are the very same people who criticise for the sake of it. Criticism is something which brings the best out of people, which makes people work on areas they are weak in. But such people criticise only to bring people down. All they want is to makes others feel less privileged so they can rule. Hence they say that you are a zilch. They drag you down, not up.
And these are the people who talk about inhibitions and boundaries. How one should always be in character. They define a behaviour for everyone and whoever does not follow is an outlaw doomed to be criticised and rebuked at will. They mock and laugh at people’s unconventional choices so they may dominate and others may not.
These people never understand the difference between literacy and education. And the quest and insatiable desire for knowledge is unknown to them. Education for them is gained only in classroom and personal interactions a sin! Such people do not understand the value of an experience shared by someone. They do not understand we can learn even when we talk to someone elder or someone who has gone through something.
For a male conservative and orthodox society, every interaction is harmful and every gaze lust. They cannot bring themselves to understand that the intentions matter too. And when the intention is gaining knowledge and learning it can never be wrong!
Live was going on cold
the passion had long subsided
monotony had set in
nothing new to try
the dreams still did haunt
imploring to work harder
but the mind somehow convinced
the distance was too far
amongst this. winds of change
somehow found the dead dreams
recollecting the broken pieces
repainting the ruined painting
Dreams with a new lease of live
arouse passion overwhelming
Producing work, creating awe
giving the sense of liberating