Free of the Stabbing Pain

You know that fancy,
Having a broken glass in hand
Sharp, and striking it through the wrist
Over and over again!

Tearing everything in the path
The threads, the skin, veins
Gushing blood and moments of pain
Counting till the last

Visions of all the was
the knives that stabbed
cups, full of poison
and that helplessness…

And now free, free of everything
Free of all the stabbing pain

 

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Looking for Solace!

Have you ever felt like the skies came crashing onto you? Like everything just went haywire? Like everything that one had planned was splashed with water and now all the color, the ink, the plans are washed out? Like everything that ever mattered no more exists?

What does one do? How does one fix the skies? How to put the broken pieces up there again? What glue to use? Would the pieces stick to each other like before? Would the glue be strong enough to prevent it from falling again? Would this pain be just once in a lifetime experience? Could it be?

And on top of everything, there are these people called writers. Overtly emotional. Always on the verge of tears. Broken with the slightest touch and hurt by a pinprick. What do such people do? Where do they find their solace, their peace? Is there anything like peace for them?

Is there solace?

What Does One Do?

What does one do when nothing he feels can find words?

When the agony and pain are filled up and find no outlet?

The sheer helplessness of not finding the right words, the right people, the circumstances!

What does one do? Where does one go to scream? How does one let out all this pain? This emotion? This helplessness?

What does one do?

The Ease of Pointing a Finger

“What do you do this for
this seeking attention
what pleasure?”

The suddenness of the question
the stab, the pain
what had I done so wrong?

“You are passing signals
allowing their thoughts to go berserk
what fun arousing their imagination?”

I kept wondering
how wrong could a smile be
sharing a laugh in the tragedy of life!

I conjecture at the perceptions
how environments, upbringing work
the ease of raising a finger!

Grief

I had, all of a sudden, lost
a part of me
so dear, so intimate

I had, all of a sudden, felt
sheer grief
the unattainability of lost

I had, all of a sudden, roused
Oh! I lost this too
this process, I lost me!

I had, all of a sudden, revisited
stories, tales, laments
the pain of broken hearts

I had, all of a sudden, grief
a companion; somewhere disappeared
meanwhile revisiting memories

I had, all of a sudden, discovered
the pain of losing the pain
And like a mother with a dead child
I wander around, lost
lamenting, crying, grieving for grief!

Floods

Have you ever yearned for rain!
Oh this draught, this dry weather is killing.
Some relief is overdue.

And when it rains, incessantly 
Like someone mourning a loss
We wonder, when would it stop.
Oh! Why wouldn’t it?

The flash floods it caused!

Else’s Beloved

It was easy calling one special.
A few words of appreciation.
Introduction.

It was easy to get through.
A naive heart.
Attachments

They all said love empowers.
How you yearn the beloved. Happy.
Distance never matters.

Did they not ask a yearning heart.
The pain, trauma.
Watching beloved associated with another.

The smiles they would share.
A life time together.
Why didn’t someone mention the pain?

The dull ache when you see beloved with someone else?
Happy. Oblivious to your pain?
Why?

 

Hypocrisy

Someone, somewhere, someday said,
“Treat people the way
you want to be treated as”

I wanted to be cared for,
affection, relation
Love!

I reciprocated the same
Giving away care and love
giving smiles away

Unlike the expectations
I got alligations
fingers pointing at me.

Called attention-seeking
and fake;
Someone to be condemned
To be steered away from

Somehow I let an allegation through
like a bullet shattered glass
blood, pain, tears; a mess

Now, I seek a mask
I seek Me!

 

Unspeakable

I sit on a glass table
some coffee, music

Plethora of thoughts,
a hurricane

I sit, with a pen, open
ready to pen down

a story, a poem, or…
some kind of solace

All I could see, in front –
a blank sheet stained with tears!

Misunderstandings…

Control, Behaviour, Dominance
Understanding, Divergence
Sadism…

The act, Satisfaction, Urge
Pulling the string
Reason

Judgements, Rulings, Case Study
Ah! The stab of words
The loss of inner beauty

That hope in eyes
That shattered voice
That sudden end of story!