Can you, can anyone stop loving a person at any point of time? Like, “I am done, I don’t like this person anymore?”
Whoever it is, a friend, a lover, a teacher, one can never unlove. One can never tell oneself to not feel for someone.
And moving on? We just stop expecting out of people. Stop waiting. Quit all our hopes and accept the way we want someone might just remain a fantasy.
We don’t stop loving. We stop expecting any scenario with the person, anything together.
That’s how we move on!
I had looked forward to a dream. Something I was so in love with. I yearned, I waited everyday. Yet when I had it, it was all in pieces, broken apart.
And then, when I least expected, I had hope. Smiling at me and saying, “here here, I am with you.”
Even when nothing made sense, I know soon it all will.
We are told that the ladies who are the easiest to look after are the most blessed.
The question remains, do we treat them as the blessings that they are said to be? Do we treat them as they should be?
Or do we, because of their low maintenance, just neglect their needs?
Because they do not make a fuss and create havoc every time their needs or wishes are not fulfilled, do we overlook their needs? The things that make them happy? The subtle forms of care and love that could overjoy them?
Do we forget doing the things we would for other people because they might just start throwing things in our face? And because these ladies make no such nuisances, do we just ignore them? Take them for granted?
Or for that matter, any person who does not explicitly counter our ways, or do not make extravagant demands, do we take all such people for granted?
Planning things, eating out, conversations, or anything for that matter, any plan, we never consider these “low maintenance, considerate” people.
Is this what someone’s consideration is worth? Is this how they should be treated?
Or are we waiting for them to snap and move away to start looking at them and looking out for them? Or caring for them? And if we do, would it be what keeps them with us? Happy and content?
Or would they have moved too far before we realize they have given up on us?
Thoughts manifest into reality
the feeling you give out
comes back to thee
Numb, lost, immature
unable to comprehend
what world, emotions
I sought answers; road to my destination
the burden of questions heaving onto me
attempts to shake off everything
friends with solitude; company!
What would reflect back, I wonder!
Emptiness? Numbness? The answers I seek?
A detailed map to my destiny?
Some moonbeams as company?
The dark veil of moonless nights
Shroud for all the misery
I had someday, against nature
taken that one step; dreaded
I knew all that could go wrong
Nevertheless, I found the courage
for once to risk it all
the reward too lucrative
for once, vulnerability ceased
A surge of courage, strength
a step towards the dreaded journey
Fear, excitement, adrenaline
How does it sound?
Ever witnessed flight of a bird
a broken wing, nearing death?
It breaks into flight, not merely for its sake,
to escape… Alas!
Why didn’t it know its fate?
the flight of a broken wing
How far could courage take
or service of a fake smile?
I repeatedly ask myself
“For how long?”
Busy, bustling, daily chores
A life full of demanding more’s
Ah! The clock goes too fast
Just can’t do enough!
With hands full, I hear a call
A familiar, cherished voice
somehow it felt different
So wrong, painful
I look back, the source of the voice
Dad crumbling, drenched in sweat
something seems utterly wrong
the panic on his face
I run, trying to get a hold of him
save the fall, the anguish
But midway something hinders my run…
A chain round hand.
I try jostling it away
breaking free and going over
somehow seems too strong
Ah! What do I do…
Somewhere I comply, negotiate
I get timeouts and return back…
like a dutiful slave!
Remember the last time you said mother? Parent? Care? Oh! So much of concern. How you should be aware of their feelings, and how our lives should revolve around them? Remeber saying they should be the centre of our world? The very thing that we should be constantly aware of? Careful of? Mindful of?
Remember saying that our lives should be dedicated to their care, paying them back for what they did for us as children? Remaining indebted and trying to make things even. More out of the intent to repay their favours rather than out of gratitude…
Why could they not understand that gratitude is not always shown by doing as the other asks. Gratitude is not giving someone control over your life. Gratitude is doing something for that other person out of your own personal will. The way you want to.
But when it comes to giving up control and freedom; when they ask to specifically take instructions and do whatever they say, this is not paying back or showing gratitude. This is enslavement. Under the worst pretext available.
There is a great difference between gratitude and slavery.
I talked of chains
How I felt my wings bound
How it was suffocating
They asked, ” Where are the chains
You talk about;
Who binds you, you seem free
The cage is just metamorphic”
I think the words over
Were they right?
Why was it that I felt caged?
What denied my wings flight?
No, the chains couldn’t be seen
They were just words, lingering
A collection of random events
The burden of ‘Izat’
Stereotypes bound me
The rules- how, what, right, wrong
The piercing eyes- disapproving, shaming
The label of being a girl!
My place had a season
Leaves would fall
Everything looked devastatingly cold
Devoid of any ornamentation
As if mourning
Some loss – unknown
Departure of beloved
Gardens, streets turned red
A sigh onto your every step
The hearts you broke along the path
Now, I stay elsewhere
The leaves don’t fall anymore
No signs of pain
No signs of life reviving itself
On the streets
stood a cow
feeding on something
Enters a lady
feeds the cow sweets
A scorn, a scold
“Oh! How could you feed her this?
She deserves best
With tattered clothes, they looked on…
She feeds her some more
Across the street, some children
look on, yearning.