Of Grief

After the talk; prospects of loss,
death, and grief
Of life without

I sit in a garden

Looking for a four-leaf clover;
calming my storms
You stirred inside


I had, all of a sudden, lost
a part of me
so dear, so intimate

I had, all of a sudden, felt
sheer grief
the unattainability of lost

I had, all of a sudden, roused
Oh! I lost this too
this process, I lost me!

I had, all of a sudden, revisited
stories, tales, laments
the pain of broken hearts

I had, all of a sudden, grief
a companion; somewhere disappeared
meanwhile revisiting memories

I had, all of a sudden, discovered
the pain of losing the pain
And like a mother with a dead child
I wander around, lost
lamenting, crying, grieving for grief!


They thought she was asleep
Bored of class, all the work
They could not see within
Despair, gloom

They thought she was tired
A hectic day, schedule
They could not see through
The lost will, hopelessness

They thought she was overworked staying in for too long
They knew not her fear of world
The will to die, disappear

She probably had cold
A handkerchief in her hand
A wet pillow away from sight
Knew of her agony all through

Tired, separated, dejected
Her life, she felt, wasted
Not a person of same tongue
Not a hand to help up.


Walking down the road,
in pursuit of that goal
the  cherished longing,
the golden dream

Along the way you try too hard
with a sun shining too bright
And then suddenly you feel tired
all energy, zeal sapped.

You wish the destination were nearer
that you reach before too late
with fatigue creeping in
the distance seeming even longer.

And somewhere you suddenly get sight
There! you found it right in front
Running wild, with all your heart
to find a mirage, mocking.

Broken hearts could not be seen
but they ache even more
They pain of losing out on dreams
the tests of time and tiredness.




Moments of Loss and Despair

The light of soul may dim sometimes
And the situation be all bleak
The darkness slowly creeps in
Aura turning all blue!

Eyes blinded by floods,
Not a soul in sight
The weak muscles all screaming,
‘Get somebody for support ‘

A cry heard far far away
Yet not a soul turned up
Energy, emotions wasted so…
Oh! If only

Expectations, love is all farce
Nobody stands by for long
Water ebbs and flows forward
Who wastes time on a stuck up soul?

In those moments of loss and despair
Do you find your reservoir
The identity, your individuality
And that dependence is addictive too!

A Year Back


I remember back a year this time
we all had horror speaking through eyes

We tried in vain to console the heart
but he knew more than he was taught

Hope that flickered on every call
trying frantically, maybe someone would get my call

Alas! for a week I lay inconsolable
thinking of the worst with those betraying tears

Ah! how I had seen the devastation from so far
so keen to keep an eye on everything from here.

And yet I got no news of anyone dear
only a frantic sister who cried as hard

That one night after a week so long
when suddenly someone from home had called

I didn’t know the number displayed
but i was too happy someone could connect

Even if a stranger i could ask a little
only turning out to be my own sister

And what relief to hear my dear mother
how i had yearned so long to hear her

Yeah, everyone was fine in there
thought flooded, my dad was still there.

And how i felt grief come over
what was the need for dad to stay there?

How i longed to go back to him
how much i cared and how much i missed him

Gradually everyone called in to say
how they are fine and nothing to be afraid

Though I had my own conflicts with family
I then knew they were no less than the deity up there!