Answerless

He asked, “It has been years
things changed,
yet your gloom stuck
Why?”

Answerless, Mum
He queried, “You must have had
Opportunities,
Escape routes to happiness
Why not?”

I looked at a mirror
into eyes – clueless
What else had I missed
What all my armour tackled?

Protecting, I hid
A cocoon, my shield
no opportunities trespassed,
just a light knock

Afraid, I stood in
apprehensive of a new wound
and there I stuck
With all the melancholy I had.

A Dark Room

Rising urge…
Letting things go
Fear, floods, a thomping heart
So…?
Working of it all-
Fear as reigns
Terror, fright, helplessness
Oh! The pits of gloom
An occasional light,
Rays of hope
Frantic search of who I am
Sudden return of the night
How it turns me blind
Numb to pain- to this dark
As if some chains bound
Even the luxury of pain
And yet I couldn’t be restrained
Pointing fingers at destiny

Lost Happiness

I reached home to silence
Unusual calm, peace
I wondered,
Howcome there’s no noise;
No mischief being played
I searched the garden,
The whole house
And everything empty
Worried, I wonder
When was the last she remained in
Never quite at a place
I find her in bed
Temperature, discomfort
And there goes my heart
To hear her chirp again

Forlorn

They thought she was asleep
Bored of class, all the work
They could not see within
Despair, gloom

They thought she was tired
A hectic day, schedule
They could not see through
The lost will, hopelessness

They thought she was overworked staying in for too long
They knew not her fear of world
The will to die, disappear

She probably had cold
A handkerchief in her hand
A wet pillow away from sight
Knew of her agony all through

Tired, separated, dejected
Her life, she felt, wasted
Not a person of same tongue
Not a hand to help up.

Once you dare love

Pleased by the butterflies
The surge of dopamine
They forgot about life’s plan
And signed up for a heartbreak

They roamed hand in hand
Heads lost in reverie
But life had no change of plans
Pain, regret coming through.

They fought hard to be together
To reverse the fate they faced
Broken hearts bled for long
As if a part cut out

Far away they couldn’t sleep
Hearts yearning for each other
Their eyes wept, counting stars
The gloom of a moonless night

Someone trying to make sense
Mentioned they had signed up
Pain and heartbreak inevitable
Once you dare love!

Broken

Walking down the road,
in pursuit of that goal
the  cherished longing,
the golden dream

Along the way you try too hard
with a sun shining too bright
And then suddenly you feel tired
all energy, zeal sapped.

You wish the destination were nearer
that you reach before too late
with fatigue creeping in
the distance seeming even longer.

And somewhere you suddenly get sight
There! you found it right in front
Running wild, with all your heart
to find a mirage, mocking.

Broken hearts could not be seen
but they ache even more
They pain of losing out on dreams
the tests of time and tiredness.

 

 

 

Moments of Loss and Despair

The light of soul may dim sometimes
And the situation be all bleak
The darkness slowly creeps in
Aura turning all blue!

Eyes blinded by floods,
Not a soul in sight
The weak muscles all screaming,
‘Get somebody for support ‘

A cry heard far far away
Yet not a soul turned up
Energy, emotions wasted so…
Oh! If only

Expectations, love is all farce
Nobody stands by for long
Water ebbs and flows forward
Who wastes time on a stuck up soul?

In those moments of loss and despair
Do you find your reservoir
The identity, your individuality
And that dependence is addictive too!

Suicide

images

There are better ways to cope than die
Gloom and sun equally pass by
Yet we think over the grief
Extending the period meant to be brief
Splitting black on canvas
Thinking it would help with stuff
And yet pain never ceases to be
Unless you will, nobody can help thee!