When we first introduce children to questions and how to answer them, one of the first questions is “How are you?”
And an obvious answer that is taught is “I am fine”.
Over the years this becomes so much of a habit, fine, that we forget we can feel otherwise too. We feel lots of things, we do lots of things and hide them up behind a ‘fine’. Why?
Why did anyone not tell the kids how to express themselves? How they should express truth, and let emotions out rather than bolt them up behind the door of “I am fine.”
A person can be so so much more than just fine.
Let us all be that person behind this fine. Let us be us!
Exhausted assuming this role
I no more can console
My share of love would find me soon
Why should I fret, worry or gloom
I am tired of all the whine
To be them, they need some wine
Ungrateful, complaining souls
devoid of dreams, aims or goals
Fatigued, I seek peace
I seek alone
We constantly think about our images. What people think about us. What they perceive us as. And we often yearn to be in their good books. Likable.
For attaining this we often mould ourselves. Change to fit the other person’s description of good. Become someone they want to see.
This leads us to paint brushes. We carry them along. Everywhere. All the time. Different kinds and shapes. And we use them as per the person we meet. Happy, sad, agreeable, domicile. All kinds. We become everything.
But we never ask ourselves why. Why do we want to be liked. What would happen if they don’t? Are we so afraid to stand alone that we choose fake? Or are we afraid to be real? Do we fear facing the real us? Do we know the real us?
When was the last time you did what you wanted to do irrespective of what people would percieve it as? What was the last time you saw yourself?
If the answer is a long time back, or never, ask yourself. Why?
Many times we come across people who are accustomed to getting respect. As if they have some inherent right to it irrespective to their qualification for the same. And to satisfy their ego they demand of people to show them respect. Guidelines are laid. Rules. Shoulds and shouldn’ts. A pre-agreed behaviour.
But all that these people get is fake. A compulsion. Because they forget that to get respect from someone is equivalent to win their heart. All they earn is people’s loathing. Disregard. And the wishes to have minimum interaction with such people.
They forget everything cannot be demanded, some things are meant to be worked hard for. Only when you are true and humble would the universe reciprocate.
Only when you touch their souls do you earn their respect!
Mita de apni hasti ko gar kuch martaba chahe
ki daana khaak mai mil kar gul-e-gulzaar hota hai
They asked, ” How are the circumstances?
Still tense and unsafe?
Do you still have bomb blasts
Or meet terrorists?”
Speech failed and so did words
Thoughts raced further than they should
All attempts to describe the place
Went futile; all in vain
This had happened even before
They were national chauvinists
Unable to understand and comprehend
Beloved national can be wrong too.
They failed to acknowledge the land a conflict
For them it an integral part
But the truth lay hidden from them
Truth being the first casualty in conflict.
They trusted what media presented and
Politicians said; situations blown out of control
Being naive,thinking all was truth
Is that not how they ruined it?
Least aware about politics
How leaders used the issue for benefits
How cruel they could be with people
Diplomats and hypocrites .
They failedto know how people disappeared
And were killed in cold blood
No terrorist did so, but
Beloved security desirous of promotions
Neither they knew how voices were suppressed
Tear gases and bullets to shoo away
For them it was only water;
And didn’t sometimes police even protect them?
What they knew wasn’t whole of truth
A three year old can’t be a threat
They weren’t killing terrorists
It was a planned genocide!
Yet, not a word escaped lips
They were national chauvinists
Perceptions and beliefs would clash if expressed
And he, the only child of his mother!
And everyone around was a graveyard
carrying their own corpse around.
They still walked and talked as humans
but something was still dead in them.
They greeted cheerfully and worked hard
earned money and did jobs
yet their soul resided somewhere else
somewhere without masks and paints
Where an invitation was real
and a smile didn’t reveal fangs
Where eyes were not cold
and expressions real
Where people felt for each other
Humans don’t close their eyes to pain
They don’t simply ignore other’s agony.
You shout, cry, draw attention
Unless you are really dead.
And unless you are empathetic
You really are not human.
Their souls had left their place
replaced by mere walking corpses
And though they said they enjoy,
They yearned to be at a place
Where people were still alive!
And hiding back with a smile
Hollow words saying nothing .
A betraying smile more to self
A show off as if all was well!
Blames passed and so did love
They knew nothing of the peace dove
Though they tried so hard daily
They could never succeed not barely
And though they kept promising
They never knew what they wanted
It seemed something of a heart break
like asking for forgiveness after stabbing in back
Perplexed, she wondered
how had all this damage happened
there were thousands and thousands of thoughts
racing through, searching for a clue
Why? The question remained unchanged
seeking reasons? A series of endless questions
They desired a favor
something assertive for their being
but in course they made it difficult
how would she face the questions herself?
Her existence was put to risk
just for some convenience!
and the blame? Oh well
she seemed to be the most befitting
The role she always bagged!
Without an eye on consequences
Fires were shot!
Decisions made. And?
She bore the burnt and yet
they expected her unconditional support further?
How could a broken wall support a house?
How could a broken soul build a home?
A monster A monster I have turned into a monster…..
“Look at that weird looking black person. If you don’t oblige, he is going to take you away. Do you understand?” What kind of scaring is that? That is the sowing of seeds which would yield racism and casteism tomorrow. The fear of certain people in society.
But what had triggered it all? Just being from another part of the planet does not mean they are worth nothing! Someone said, “Beauty is but a skin layer deep” and still people around were so cautious about the colour of their skin. As if being black was a curse, a blunder that they had done. Mistaken. They valued skin colour as if it defined characteristics and values of a person. As if a fair person would always be right and is thus cherished. A black is seen as a criminal, untouchable. And why? Probably no one knew answer to this question. Nobody dared ask this. Certain customs and traditions are to be followed blindly, not asking why or what. But what should it be called? Classical conditioning? Faith? Trust? Or plain lack of sense?
Everyone around seemed so proud that they did not differentiate between people on the basis of caste and all. Liking pages and joining online social groups for this cause. Typing their disgust at those who did so. And yet, when it came to them in the reality, they were no different. They did the same, just a bit differently. So what reason did they have to be proud of themselves? Was writing a post on internet enough to safeguard the rights of those affected? Did this rid them of their responsibilities towards ensuring equality?
Reality was far far from the internet. Though the posts would make an impression that people are very friendly and receptive, the reality seems hidden. Only once you land in this land can you see the masks falling. Only when you interact will you know that people have been feigning. Fooled. Society wore a mask. The farther you are, the brighter the smile. And as you reach near, only then can you see the frowning faces. Disgust filled in eyes. As if they had been asked to deal with the lowest of jobs in world!
And why? That was a billion dollar question no one ever attempted to solve! They asked about NGO’s that would work towards removing this inequality. But when it came to them? “What difference could I possibly make?” Hah! Whom were they trying to fool? The world or themselves. Probably their own selves. Cause the world already knew the reality. World could not be fooled for long. And the impressions were long lasting. Changing perspectives of everyone.
All the good images were a hoax. The reality was revealed. The truth lay naked and people ashamed!