Blessing in Our Life

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We are told that the ladies who are the easiest to look after are the most blessed.
The question remains, do we treat them as the blessings that they are said to be? Do we treat them as they should be?
Or do we, because of their low maintenance, just neglect their needs?
Because they do not make a fuss and create havoc every time their needs or wishes are not fulfilled, do we overlook their needs? The things that make them happy? The subtle forms of care and love that could overjoy them?
Do we forget doing the things we would for other people because they might just start throwing things in our face? And because these ladies make no such nuisances, do we just ignore them? Take them for granted?
Or for that matter, any person who does not explicitly counter our ways, or do not make extravagant demands, do we take all such people for granted?
Planning things, eating out, conversations, or anything for that matter, any plan, we never consider these “low maintenance, considerate” people.
Is this what someone’s consideration is worth? Is this how they should be treated?

Or are we waiting for them to snap and move away to start looking at them and looking out for them? Or caring for them? And if we do, would it be what keeps them with us? Happy and content?
Or would they have moved too far before we realize they have given up on us?

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Ek Shaam

Ek shaam ke sarhane pe
Ek khwahish rakh kar bhool gayee

Thandi si ek shaam ka aalam
Ek tum, ek mai, ek tanhayee

Hypocrisy

Someone, somewhere, someday said,
“Treat people the way
you want to be treated as”

I wanted to be cared for,
affection, relation
Love!

I reciprocated the same
Giving away care and love
giving smiles away

Unlike the expectations
I got alligations
fingers pointing at me.

Called attention-seeking
and fake;
Someone to be condemned
To be steered away from

Somehow I let an allegation through
like a bullet shattered glass
blood, pain, tears; a mess

Now, I seek a mask
I seek Me!

 

Passive Aggressiveness

All life through they taught how one should behave. How it was important to respect elders, seniors. And how maintaining a low tone and containing your disagreement is a way of showing this respect.

Did any of those realise they were teaching kids to bottle up emotions? Hide their true feelings? They were teaching, training them to use a paint brush, to put up a mask. Why did the world have problems with real?

What would happen if a child openly disagreed with his parents? “Dad, I don’t want to pursue science. I love commerce.” How does this simple admission hamper respect or relation? More so, it would help them understand each other.

But we so want to control everything that we forget where we should and where we should not talk. Some things are personal. Very close to heart. And when someone else takes away the right to express it, exercise it or pursue it, we change. We either revolt, blow up, throw up arms in protest, “This is what I want and I won’t bend”, or we bottle up. Keep emotions to oneself. Put a fake mask of happiness and do as told.

No doubt this mask makes everyone else happy. But has anyone ever thought how it impacts the person? How a lost dream and a fake smile kill him. Everyday!

This pushes one to a new zone, a mentality. Passive Aggressive Behaviour. Actively they don’t show their disagreement. Ah! Who listens either way. But passively they make sure they avenge themselves. Everything behind a mask of agreement and respect.
If we imagine scolding a child and that child breaks your favourite mug, “Oops! It dropped out of my hands”. While we mourn the loss, the child enjoys. Tit for tat.

Ah! And how many times have we been asked to do something we don’t want to. “Is it done yet?” “Ah! I am working on it. Just that it won’t happen.” We are not born procrastinators, we tend to acquire the trait on demand.

Though we see everyone calling sarcasm a sign of high IQ, it again is passive aggression. Just hidden underneath a translucent veil of humour. Sharp and ready to sting.
But at the end why should there be any need of such behaviour? Why should someone ever feel the need of a mask, a paint brush. Why should anyone ever do something just to please people?

Why care for respect and fear when it can drive you to such fatal behaviour. Once this behaviour was listed as a mental disorder. But so many people depict this tendency that now it is merely behaviour.

Why should there be passive aggression at all? Why not be and let others be real?

 

Harboured Love

When we love someone, we tend to think of them as close to us. And if possible, we tend to keep them physically close. Within eyesight. Separation and distance seem some kind of a barrier. As if the distance were going to decrease the love, or have an impact on it in some way.

But do we ever consider that the one whom we love might be happier somewhere else? Maybe his desires, dreams where not the proximity we usually tend to maintain? Maybe they have different goals for themselves than what we assume.

When we love someone we do not merely love them for our own sake. We can’t be happy by merely the physical proximity if they aren’t equally happy about it. For love doesn’t captivate it lets you free, happy.

And yet, when someone tries to do something which might take them farther from us, we resist. Even though we know how important or crucial it may be for them, or how much they desire this, we resist. In love, we tend to be selfish.

And as such when someone says that want to die, end their life we resist. We tend to show them the brighter side and convince them to change their mind. We tend to tell them how beautiful life can be or what miracles future may reveal. But in order to save our love we tend to overlook their ordeal.

We tend to forget their issues, their pain. For when a  quadriplegic asks for euthanasia or a trip to Dignitas we tend to feel offended, destroyed. We think they are being selfish. But we do not realise their situation. How they must be feeling one day walking and another day suddenly finding themselves crippled. Of being dependent on someone all the time however trivial the job. How sore they must be and how bored by being in the same place, a chair or a bed, not even able to move a muscle to bring oneself comfort.

We believe we can see them wither away in pain but not let them just die in peace. We expect them to fight their health issues and go through traumatic hospital procedures just because we cannot endure their absence in our lives. We can see them in pain, but not happily dead!

For love does not mean merely holding on and sticking together. It meaning letting go for the sake of other’s happiness. Love is selfless, and when you reject someone’s  plea to freedom, whether physical or emotional, you deny love.

For it is better to die with pride than to look into eyes full of pity.

By Bob Marley

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all.

A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.

Heart

Heart… A mere cluster of muscles pumping blood through your body, responsible for your survival. And yet it is this muscular mass that is most important in how to decide to live your life, in choosing your way forward..

Being a pure heart is one of the choicest blessings that can be bestowed upon a person. Being able to see everything in its purity and being able to work forward with a good heart is rare, and a blessing.

But then a pure, honest heart makes you vulnerable. In a world filled of crooks, the straight trees are first to be cut down. And honest, pure heart the first to be cheated and bruised. In the purity of one’s own heart, we tend to forget about the deceptiveness of the world. Of how your emotions don’t mean a thing to anyone else. And how they can be friends one moment and foes in another just to get their motives accomplished.

It is difficult to decide whether a pure heart is a blessing or a curse when the same thing can be your strength as well as your greatest weakness. When you lend your hand to someone to help them out, you never know whether they actually want to be saved or are pretending the situation just to throw you down the pits.

And one’s sanctity makes it look like everyone is a friend, a fellow human with the same needs. But does greed not overpower so many souls? Is every other person you see not corrupt? Have they not sold their conscience for some mere notes they call money?

Has the world, in its chase for fame and fortune, not sold itself?

Inadequacies

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Image Source: Google

There are days when, no matter how pure your intentions  are or whatever good you try to do, everything ends up screwed.

It is very rare for people to understand your intentions or for them to realise your perspective. For, the world remains selfish and everyone cares for own.

And yet, when an adamant heart dares to care, it is set to bleed. For the world knows not that being human is not merely about attaining a human form, a human body. It is to possess a soul of one. Humans are not defined by form, but by their empathy. And those who lack the same loose the right to call themselves human.

“What makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think, but our ability to love. “

-Henry Nouwen

Answered

I had asked for answers
I had questioned Him so many times
to the point of my desperation
I wanted fast, simultaneous answers.
I could not figure out my life
what was happening around
it was all chaos
and I had no knowledge
I bombarded You with questions
Your answer was silence
I asked You again and again
and Your answer never changed.
And then one day, I felt
I was relearning things
I understood my knowledge
in a different perspective.
My mind had many different thoughts,
something unconventional for me.
And I find an angel by my doorstep
Comforting and answering me.

Beyond…

She could see beyond that paint
Beyond that smile that was feigned

Beyond that fair blushed face
Their true colours lay barren

Spending time around, she knew
There was none to call own

Amongst claims of being close
Care was the easiest thing to feign

Beyond conversations she could see
The slight changes of expressions

And though they claimed friendship
They frowned on mention of needs

They did what people call care
Only that it wasn’t real

They were all messy portraits
Crafty, painted, lifeless…

And she knew they would break
Her heart the day she trusted!