Can you, can anyone stop loving a person at any point of time? Like, “I am done, I don’t like this person anymore?”
Whoever it is, a friend, a lover, a teacher, one can never unlove. One can never tell oneself to not feel for someone.
And moving on? We just stop expecting out of people. Stop waiting. Quit all our hopes and accept the way we want someone might just remain a fantasy.
We don’t stop loving. We stop expecting any scenario with the person, anything together.
That’s how we move on!
It is easy to be tired and fall asleep the moment one hits the bed.
Difficult is no sleep, and the hands free; nothing to hold. The utter need of having something to fill the gap up and be there.
The utter reminder of a missing someone.
Of the missing beloved!
Beloved, would you ever be mine?
And for that matter, what is mine?
What would you do, or we do, that makes you mine. And me yours?
What kind of abstract thought is this? This being mine and yours?
Neither of us can possess each other and yet I am yearning for belonging.
Would a name tag do?
But I never wanted to change my name. Neither would I.
There is nothing like my name and your name together in my mind and yet I want to belong to you somehow.
What do I do?
Have I told you how I have fantasized about our kids? The adopted ones?
Nah, I didn’t adopt multiple kids. Just one. With you.
Mother and father.
And he stays with me on vacations. With you rest of the time…
Sometimes we all spend time together. Like a month or so.
I convince you to stay and school him from my place. We stay a year together…
I forgot to write about this. I told you about the letters, didn’t I?
Ah! Beloved… What have you done to make me ready to leave behind everything?
What is it that I can do away with everything in this moment?
This fragrance of itr
That fills the air
Whenever I open my bag!
A pretty notorious way
Of reminding someone
And of your absence too…
It was easy calling one special.
A few words of appreciation.
It was easy to get through.
A naive heart.
They all said love empowers.
How you yearn the beloved. Happy.
Distance never matters.
Did they not ask a yearning heart.
The pain, trauma.
Watching beloved associated with another.
The smiles they would share.
A life time together.
Why didn’t someone mention the pain?
The dull ache when you see beloved with someone else?
Happy. Oblivious to your pain?
Control, Behaviour, Dominance
The act, Satisfaction, Urge
Pulling the string
Judgements, Rulings, Case Study
Ah! The stab of words
The loss of inner beauty
That hope in eyes
That shattered voice
That sudden end of story!
I see the Beloved
Somehow a name escapes
Someone on his mind
I turn mad
How someone could adore his lips
I take a dagger
Wound her through and through
A dull ache, I check
My wounds oozing blood
I kill myself