Unloving Someone

Can you, can anyone stop loving a person at any point of time? Like, “I am done, I don’t like this person anymore?”

Whoever it is, a friend, a lover, a teacher, one can never unlove. One can never tell oneself to not feel for someone.

And moving on? We just stop expecting out of people. Stop waiting. Quit all our hopes and accept the way we want someone might just remain a fantasy.

We don’t stop loving. We stop expecting any scenario with the person, anything together.

That’s how we move on!

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I am Fine

When we first introduce children to questions and how to answer them, one of the first questions is “How are you?”

And an obvious answer that is taught is “I am fine”.

Over the years this becomes so much of a habit, fine, that we forget we can feel otherwise too. We feel lots of things, we do lots of things and hide them up behind a ‘fine’. Why?

Why did anyone not tell the kids how to express themselves? How they should express truth, and let emotions out rather than bolt them up behind the door of “I am fine.”

A person can be so so much more than just fine.

Let us all be that person behind this fine. Let us be us!

I am Near

I had cried hard someday,
“Where are you,
Call me back!”
The promise of “I am Near”

There was no voice reciprocating
no condolence, no light
I knew no better
The promise of “I am Near”

Shattered, in pieces
I yearned for light
I called, “When?”
The promise of “I am Near”

All the forms of care I knew
communication, touch
the yearning of His caress
The promise of “I am Near”

I had thought of fatherly strokes,
His hands on my head
Ah! my innocence, expectations
The promise of “I am Near”

And days later, I looked beyond
tears that had blurred vision
Ways He had reached out
The promise of “I am Near”

That sudden song I never heard before
That poem titled “Sawaal”
That recurrent dream, giving solace
The promise of “I am Near”

A sudden thought of hope,
A distant ray of light
The hand that said, “I am”
The promise of “I am Near”

No, the ways weren’t what I thought
He didn’t stand in front, embracing
physically He was never there
The promise of “I am Near”

And yet, all I could see was Him
in every breath, His presence
Managing my affairs through someone
The promise of “I am Near”

 

 

 

Final Step

Many times our dreams, our goals are just one step away from us. We just have to extend our hand and grab it. But more often than not, we are afraid of thatfinal step. That last brick in the wall.

Though we say we desire so and so but we never really yearn for it. Because if we did, we would grab it even if it were miles afar.

It is this last step that discloses whether that dream, that goal is really sought. Whether we really crave for it, yearn it.

All excuses, delays, time, blah blah come forth when we do it half hearted, as a compulsion. Else nothing would or could stop us.

On another level, maybe we are afraid to complete the journey. Once this dream, this goal is achieved, what would life be like. There won’t be this goal to work for. Would life lose its meaning? Would there be nothing else to look forward to? Would it be the end of everything? Would it invoke the feelings of lost?

Answerless

He asked, “It has been years
things changed,
yet your gloom stuck
Why?”

Answerless, Mum
He queried, “You must have had
Opportunities,
Escape routes to happiness
Why not?”

I looked at a mirror
into eyes – clueless
What else had I missed
What all my armour tackled?

Protecting, I hid
A cocoon, my shield
no opportunities trespassed,
just a light knock

Afraid, I stood in
apprehensive of a new wound
and there I stuck
With all the melancholy I had.

Helpless!

Fondling her, caressing
Praying silently under my breath
Reminding myself, recalling
His mercy, His wisdom
I tell her how
He purifies us by pain
Tests the pious
With trials
Yet, I was speechless
When in her innocence, she asked
“What sins would He write off me
And why this trial?”
My helplessness couldn’t be more profound

Answered

I had asked for answers
I had questioned Him so many times
to the point of my desperation
I wanted fast, simultaneous answers.
I could not figure out my life
what was happening around
it was all chaos
and I had no knowledge
I bombarded You with questions
Your answer was silence
I asked You again and again
and Your answer never changed.
And then one day, I felt
I was relearning things
I understood my knowledge
in a different perspective.
My mind had many different thoughts,
something unconventional for me.
And I find an angel by my doorstep
Comforting and answering me.

Awaited

Amongst the happy, cheerful days
a streak of darkness creeped in
and gradually it took roots
a stray doubt; a silly fear.

With a blow of destiny
everything was suddenly dark
all the blossoms died away
and all hope engulfed.

For a long long time,
things remained gloomy
and someday hope beamed
results still awaited…

Agitated

When we choose to stay far from the true love of our lives, we deprive ourselves of their care and concern. And all the while away from them we tend to search for love to suffice. But who can love us more? We find this too soon that the world is unkind and cruel leaving us irritated and angry on ourselves.

Regain yourself. Don;t be angry, just return to the love of life. The care and peace of heart would set everything right. Believe and it would be!

Caged!

Life behind the fence

That feeling of something fluttering inside.
As if someone was caged, trying to fell.
Like a desperate attempt to survive while drowning.
As if suffocating to death and trying hard to breathe

When feelings and expressions do not find a vent they flutter like a caged bird. Body senses the tension but does not know what exactly to do about it. Like a non swimmer watching a drowning person with no help nearby. All he can do is stand helplessly and watch the death or walk away sensing the arrival of death angel.

And all of us recognize the problem, but solution? Alas! No one knows. All suffer from this silently. But all they do is remain silent. As if silence would suppress the head-raising storms. And all it does is complicate things further.

Let out and let go. Life awaits beyond this struggle!