Elsewhere

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My place had a season
Autumn
Leaves would fall
Fields harvested

Everything looked devastatingly cold
Greyscale
Devoid of any ornamentation

As if mourning
Some loss – unknown
Departure of beloved

Gardens, streets turned red
A sigh onto your every step
The hearts you broke along the path

Now, I stay elsewhere
The leaves don’t fall anymore
No signs of pain
No signs of life reviving itself

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Heart Breaker

There was this girl
Magical
An aura of happy
Energy!

I fall for her
Instantaneous
The way she talks
The laughter

I reveal to her
My yearnings
She rolls her eyes
“Really?!”

I narrate my ordeal
Over and again
Oh! I love you
Love you, love you, love you

She, a stone at heart
Shooing me away everytime
Inhumane, rude
A heart breaker!

Where To?

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Where to?
I ask myself repeatedly
Oblivious to the destination
This road leads to

I walk endlessly, thinking
This would lead me somewhere
Then I ask myself again
Where to?

This is devastating
How I don’t know
It is like being granted a wish
And not knowing what to ask for, where to

I look ahead
Trying to decipher signs
I find none, am I that lost ?
I head along, not knowing where to!

Passive Aggressiveness

All life through they taught how one should behave. How it was important to respect elders, seniors. And how maintaining a low tone and containing your disagreement is a way of showing this respect.

Did any of those realise they were teaching kids to bottle up emotions? Hide their true feelings? They were teaching, training them to use a paint brush, to put up a mask. Why did the world have problems with real?

What would happen if a child openly disagreed with his parents? “Dad, I don’t want to pursue science. I love commerce.” How does this simple admission hamper respect or relation? More so, it would help them understand each other.

But we so want to control everything that we forget where we should and where we should not talk. Some things are personal. Very close to heart. And when someone else takes away the right to express it, exercise it or pursue it, we change. We either revolt, blow up, throw up arms in protest, “This is what I want and I won’t bend”, or we bottle up. Keep emotions to oneself. Put a fake mask of happiness and do as told.

No doubt this mask makes everyone else happy. But has anyone ever thought how it impacts the person? How a lost dream and a fake smile kill him. Everyday!

This pushes one to a new zone, a mentality. Passive Aggressive Behaviour. Actively they don’t show their disagreement. Ah! Who listens either way. But passively they make sure they avenge themselves. Everything behind a mask of agreement and respect.
If we imagine scolding a child and that child breaks your favourite mug, “Oops! It dropped out of my hands”. While we mourn the loss, the child enjoys. Tit for tat.

Ah! And how many times have we been asked to do something we don’t want to. “Is it done yet?” “Ah! I am working on it. Just that it won’t happen.” We are not born procrastinators, we tend to acquire the trait on demand.

Though we see everyone calling sarcasm a sign of high IQ, it again is passive aggression. Just hidden underneath a translucent veil of humour. Sharp and ready to sting.
But at the end why should there be any need of such behaviour? Why should someone ever feel the need of a mask, a paint brush. Why should anyone ever do something just to please people?

Why care for respect and fear when it can drive you to such fatal behaviour. Once this behaviour was listed as a mental disorder. But so many people depict this tendency that now it is merely behaviour.

Why should there be passive aggression at all? Why not be and let others be real?

 

Mine!

I see the Beloved
Joy
Indulgence

Somehow a name escapes
Someone on his mind
I turn mad

Ablaze,
How someone could adore his lips
Unbearable

I take a dagger
Confronting
Wound her through and through

A dull ache, I check
My wounds oozing blood
I kill myself

Sadism

I sit on the window sill
Watchful
Observing his features-
Him!

He lies down
Tired of the world
Closed eyes
“O! To be free”

He speaks pain;
Of glass walls
Dreams right in sight
O! Unattainable

He seeks redemption
A way beyond chains
A bird in cage
Seeking sky

Thinking penance,
He jumps in fire
Engulfing

Now, he lay writhing
Crying in pain
“Let me out,
This torment

It drives me crazy
Ah! Lashes
How do I escape”

I watch him over and over
Trauma, tears
Changing expressions
Screeching

I indulge in his pain

Value

On the streets
Besides destitutes
stood a cow
feeding on something

Enters a lady
feeds the cow sweets
Gurr…

A scorn, a scold
“Oh! How could you feed her this?
She deserves best
nothing else”

With tattered clothes, they looked on…

She feeds her some more
caressing
Across the street, some children
look on, yearning.