Goodbye? … Nah!

Never-say-goodbye

No, I don’t wanna say goodbye
we meet again, before I die

We do not snap contact at this
neither give another a moment to miss

We do not forget the lovely time
we spent together youth’s prime

We do not fall apart…
will always cherish the company we had

No one can take the place you have
the way enchant and captivate!

The chat we had at four in wee
the way with you time would flee

Life with you was always glee
and I could always be me 😉

Hence there be no adieu
no farewell, no turning blue

And we would soon meet too
I can’t be far apart from you!

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Alarms

But he could not see her in pain
regretting all those blames

When he was just angry
and got a little cranky

When he forgot where to stop
in her eyes a tear drop!

He realized he was wrong
but his message was too strong

She was wrecked, in pieces
he wanted to shower on her kisses

Eyes reflecting her ache
out of anger, now awake

He saw the damage, a broken heart
he had asked her to part

She clueless of what to do
her soul had suddenly turned blue

But he could not feign being hard
all his ego did he discard

Taking her sobbing face in arms
trying to stop all alarms!

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Addiction of pain
No use thinking loss or gain

That urge to fight
Overlooking other’s plight

A reply highly condemned
And what about self respect?

That anger when reflection
Of oneself they see in deflection

Most often we stand before mirrors
Bafflingly around with careers

Not realizing consequences
After effects or imbalances

Insensitive?

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A cloud cover to hide her face
Was it pride or was it shame?

In and out, moving about
Was she done or making fun?

Making wait, a patient gait
And a grin, smiling within

the desirous looked up all the night
How could he miss a sight

Yet in morning she left again
Leaving him in pain again

Was she numb towards him
Or was he dreaming a grim film?

From the dark …

With all the busy schedules who has got time to console?  Who would pat my back and make me stand up?

I found myself lost. And turned to Him. With all the fear of rejection I asked for help. And He did.  He listened. The best listener anyone could ever get. He understood my agony and pain. And stood there by me till I felt better.

I needed someone’s embrace. But none was in vicinity. I prostrated . The feeling of being in someone’s arms could not be met. But I knew this embrace could continue for long. He was in no hurry. Always accessible . He heard all my whines and saw all my tears. But never did He ridicule anything of me. Accepted me as I was.

He did not shoo me away stating His busy schedule. Not did He part me when the embrace seemed never ending. It seemed like He has been waiting only for me; like all His time was mine. I, His priority!

if this is not true love then what is? ?

At Fault?

It seemed something of a heart break
like asking for forgiveness after stabbing in back

Perplexed, she wondered
how had all this damage happened

there were thousands and thousands of thoughts
racing through, searching for a clue

Why? The question remained unchanged
seeking reasons? A series of endless questions

They desired a favor
something assertive for their being

but in course they made it difficult
how would she face the questions herself?

Her existence was put to risk
just for some convenience!

and the blame? Oh well
she seemed to be the most befitting

The role she always bagged!
Without an eye on consequences

Fires were shot!
Decisions made. And?

She bore the burnt and yet
they expected her unconditional support further?

How could a broken wall support a house?
How could a broken soul build a home?

A Curse

Random thoughts spilling over. Something was flooding the brain. Maybe situations, maybe thoughts, or maybe nothing at all. But now it needed rest else everything would be ruined. In real life we do not have an elder wand to remove thoughts from our brain and put them into a bowl of other intruding thoughts. But the need is often felt. The need to put everything to sleep and not let them bother you until you are ready. Life is not this simple though. Life comes complicated and certainly not approving any such hacks. Running in brain were a thousand things ranging from studies to future insecurities. Every thought equally intimidating. Sucking out all kinds of happiness and putting up an emergency siren. As if everything was going to happen now and something needed to be done to handle all this. Worry. Stress. But nothing works like this. Being on the toes for events which are not happening anytime in near future. Ruining the present in all this chaos. But this soul did not bulge under pressure. Standing up and doing all she could to put this siren off. To make her surging adrenaline levels calm down. Working day and night just to make sure everything is perfect and in the desired manner. In this process she make a perfect looking future. That perfect future she always yearned for! This is what we expect after working hard after all. But then do mirrors or impressions reflect everything? Not always! In those mirrors she did see herself a success but she forgot to look into details. She could not see anything beyond her image. Maybe because there was nothing. Then she could not comprehend. Now she could relate. She stood on that successful place but all alone. Not even a single soul to share her joy with. She thought of all other folks. Where did they all go? When did she become this alone? No answers. While working for this golden era she knew what she was doing, where she was going. But now she seemed to be lost, confused, This is not what she had imagined it to be. She wanted success but not without friends. It baffled her! She had no answers. Words started echoing in her ears. Someone had said, “Your ways are wrong. Your methods are wrong. Mend them you still have time.” But she did not see anything wrong with her actions or methods. Probably people were being jealous of her. They did not want her to prosper. Hence such comments. She had never doubted her abilities. Neither did she need to. Benefits of being popular, confidant and praised. But some people still seemed to have problems with her. Calling her names, blah blah! She never put her nose into all that. It did not matter to her. But those words did not come from an ultimate stranger who did not matter. They were the words of her best friend, her confidant. Maybe her friend had foreseen what she could not. Maybe she was awakening her to the obvious disasters. But she never paid any heed. In a fit of anger she had said, “You will cry your heart out one day, but no one will be there to lend you a shoulder.” Now, after all these years, these words kept revolving in her head. Creating dreadful whirls. Loops of thoughts she could not break. One time regretting her decisions, another time consoling. To put up, she ceased all kinds of communication to the outer world. Break. Disconnecting from people and surroundings helps a lot to regain one’s confidence. Even this proved to be one of the worst decisions of her life. She could no more see beyond. Not even her own self. Trying hard, she started working frantically. But it backfired. She felt more frustrated. She could feel things going out of her hands. Like nothing could be done to save the situation. She tried everything that could help, but nothing really did. No one did. She was tired of all the hard work she had done all her life. She was tired of managing huge amounts of stress. She was too tired to get out of bed and do something. All she did now was to wait for the nurse to fetch her medicines and feed her. Looking over the fields from that hospital window, she kept murmuring. “I don’t want to cry blood. Don’t curse me with this.”

Parting Note…

hands

Of all the people that I met
there was one who would sweat

making people comfortable
gifting smiles; dreams seemed achievable

The one who cared for all
who stood by me like a wall

Whom I would always cherish
and I am definitely gonna miss!

Disguised?

Those times when she gave in
anger raising a tempest within her

feeling like exploding
like she could not take anything anymore

as if everything was meant to hurt
splashing ink; ruining her shirt!

When nothing was understood
and in situations could not see any good

When she felt so vulnerable
something making her feel horrible

He came in as her support
who made her see beyond

How things would work towards the better
and how these petty things won’t matter

Took her by hand, showing the path
assuring nothing had happened to call for her wrath

That tests are part of everyone’s life
you cannot give up on every strife

A tear does not make the path easier
neither can a thorn make you any weaker.

The tempest calmed itself down
soon from her face gone was the frown

Looking up with a new light in eyes
was He not God in disguise?